Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
