Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
