whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I think people are normalizing furries
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
