Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Can I color on your dick again?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize