I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
