Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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