I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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