my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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