She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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