Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
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