shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
