Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
