tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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