I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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