Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You ruined the universe
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
