Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
