Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
