I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
