He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
