it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
