we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You're earring is so big in my mouth
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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