i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
