Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Randomize
