You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
