great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
this is an emotional support booty call
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
