Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
he high fived his dick after we had sex
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
