My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
