Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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