He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
