Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
