all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
