how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
