Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize