As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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