i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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