**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
