they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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