we're blogging at a bar
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
