Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
