He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
