Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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