he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
