Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
