Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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