week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My ass is underappreciated
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
