That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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