ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
