No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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