So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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