He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
