Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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