We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize