The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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