You're completely useless in the revolution.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
