i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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