You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
This is my gift to your gina
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
