U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
