I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
