Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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