U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i love accidental penises.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
