I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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