Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
