I love black thongs
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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