the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
