I wish i was in the wii world.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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