I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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