Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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