Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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